xv.

by dangerlight

Over the past few weeks, I have felt outraged, defeated, challenged, panicked, foolish, lost, saddened, numbed, frustrated, and confused. I have been a dickbag hijacker/derailer; I have thrown fits; I have tried to write; I have tried to talk; I have tried to listen. I have attended a rally; I have donated money; I have questioned myself; and, naturally, I have been reading so much that my eyeballs are falling out.

I thought maybe I would write something about the deaths of Eric Garner, Tamir Rice, Michael Brown, Teaira Whitehead, and the countless black women and trans-identified folks who are so ignored and marginalized by society (read: me as a part of that society) that we do not even speak their names.  I will continue to examine and question my own internalized and externalized anti-Blackness; my own actions/inactions; and the crux of being a whitewashed, cishet, able-bodied Asian American who foolishly keeps loving her unaware, racist, homophobic, transphobic white family, against all reason.  But, at least right now, I don’t think the world needs words from me about this. Instead, I want you to read and hear the voices that most of white America wants to ignore, punish, erase, and murder.

Here are a few writings that have helped me to examine, question, resent, and reformulate my own thoughts and actions regarding racial privilege and intersectionality.   Sometimes I am horrified by myself, but that is not enough– and I am thinking about that.  I may come back and add more. And I promise to return soon with some words of my own, but it won’t be about this–not directly. In this second, I would just like to listen, absorb, and most importantly, believe wholly the words that I am reading.  And if you are white or a non-black person of color, I suggest you do the same.

Stacia L. Brown, “For Tamir, Who Was Stolen”
Ezekiel Kweku, “The Parable of the Unjust Judge or: Fear of a N*gger Nation”
amazing-how-you-love, “I’m Tired of Asian Bloggers Extolling Moderation”
Trudy/Gradient Lair, “Anti-Blackness And The Myths Of ‘Monoracial Privilege’ & The ‘White/Black Binary'”
Trudy/Gradient Lair, “Privilege and Using Individual Compliments/Insults To Derail Conversations About Oppression”
Rawiya Kameir and Judnick Mayard, “The Unbearable Whiteness of Protesting”
Anonymous/Unnamed Submitter, “To my Asian community and family-“
Center for Story-Based Strategy, “Storify: #Asians4BlackLives”

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