Personal preferences in dating or sex are not the same thing as fetishes. We can’t help who we’re attracted to, and a lot of us “have a type,” but no one should project the kind of personality, behavior, and values they like in a romantic partner onto someone else, let alone an entire ethnic group. For instance, it is true that I tend to be drawn to well-dressed men who are taller than me, but I don’t assume anything about them besides the fact that they are well-dressed and taller. But just because I’m Asian and female, why do some men make the automatic assumptions that I am quiet, docile, great at domestic tasks, eager to please men, and my vagina is more magical than average? And, I am supposed to feel complimented when those people are attracted to me?